As I meandered around my house this morning picking up my husband's trail of dirty socks, underwear and empty coffee cups, I slowly began to wonder about the Housewives of Orange County, and all of the other supposedly "desperate" wives on TV. I walked past a mound of dishes, and a hungry, sad-looking dog thinking to myself, what makes them so desperate?
These women have rich, good-looking husbands, call shopping a hobby and fight like bull dogs. What about the real desperate housewives out there? The ones that pull apart fighting children while cooking dinner and doing the laundry? I wondered if the Housewives of Orange County cleaned up their kid's puke at 3a.m., showered at 5, and carefully layed out their husband's clothes so he wouldn't go to work naked.
What about the housewives of Madison County? Sure, the only place we have to shop is Walmart, but why not?
This is why the housewives of Madison County really are desperate:
1. We don't have nannies, we have t.v.
2. We don't drive limos, we drive pickup trucks
3. Our husbands only wear a suit if someone dies
4. The only escargot we've ever seen is when our kids throw up
5. We don't have our nails done, we bite them
6. When we drop everything to go shopping it's to get cough syrup
7. Our idea of a weekend getaway is Old Forge
8. When we say we don't have any cash it's not because the ATM broke
9. The only time we put makeup on is to go to a soccer game
10. We don't dress our dogs up in tiny little sweaters and diamonds, we dress them in camo and bright orange so they don't get shot
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment